Random thoughts: 2011

Wednesday 28 December 2011

Happy past, present and future "tense"

It’s the Christmas-New Year season and there was not much work to do in office so I was randomly browsing through people’s profiles on Facebook and stumbled upon Darius Sunawala’s profile. I just remembered how entertaining the radio shows used to be at that time. So, this blog is dedicated to Sunaina Lall and Darius who added fun to my mornings during school days.
I don’t really remember what this show used to be called, but I think it was called the ‘Breakfast Show’. Sunaina Lall used to host the show alone initially, and then Darius was brought on board. The duo used to play old English hits and new Bollywood numbers. They used to make it a point to play music that would complement the weather each day, this used to be amazing. The fights that they used to have on air used to be hilarious, with Darius losing the arguments always. We had a radio in the kitchen and would never miss turning it on at our breakfast time. I used to love it when it rained ‘cos I was sure they would play my favorite romantic numbers, and that would leave me in a dreamy mood for the rest of the day! :) (Ye! I know I’m hopelessly romantic!)
But this was during my PU days, once I started attending college, FM Radio underwent a huge change and Bangalore got a wider choice of radio channels to listen to. After that I was lost. I hardly got time to listen to radio.
The other things that I’m really missing from my school days are the videos of the song albums that used to come on TV. Lucky Ali’s ‘O Sanam’, Falguni Pathak’s ‘Yaad piya ki aane lagi’ and even Aslam and Shibani’s ‘Ho gayi hai mohabbat’. I was really crazy about those songs.
I miss the innocence of those years and the ability I had to dream about things so easily. It was an uncomplicated world, consisting only of school, books, friends and parents. Now, it’s so different, there’s work, competition,gossip, muddled up feelings, doubt, fear………….the works!! All driving us MAD!
Many people tell me that I live in the past, and should try to come out of it. But if the past brought more happiness to me than the present, why not live in the past??

Monday 26 December 2011

My thoughts on Ramayana

I did my schooling in a traditional Christian school in Bangalore, so I did not know as much of Ramayana and Mahabharatha as I knew of the Bible. I was not lucky enough to hear these stories from my grandparents either, because they did not live with me. The other day when I found the book ‘Indian Epics Retold’ by R.K Narayan in the library, I picked it up instantly and brought it home, fully excited.
I just finished reading Ramayana from this book, and was fascinated by the story no doubt, but there were a lot of things that got me bemused. R.K.N has based his writing on Kamban’s Ramayana, and I really don’t know how authentic his version of Ramayana was nor did I bother to find out. I just treated myself to the brilliant narration of R.K.N and wanted to share some of my thoughts in this post.

After reading the first few chapters I found myself wondering why so much importance was being given to Rama alone. After all, Dasharatha had three more sons, and it was only natural that he should love Bharatha, the son of his favorite wife, Kaikeyi more than the other sons. Rama was the incarnation of Lord Vishnu,but the people in Ayodhya didn’t know about it, did they?
I really felt pity for Lakshmana throughout the story because he is almost always ignored. When Rama is going to exile, he readily follows Rama, and we see that Sumitra cries because Rama is leaving, but does not show any sign of grief for the departure of her own son. Lakshmana shows his intelligence in many situations, I’d say he was more brilliant than Rama, because he warns Rama before he kills Vali, and even when Sita tells him to go and rescue Rama during the Mareecha incident, he tells her not to jump to conclusions and stays by her side to guard her, but finally relents when she starts doubting his intentions. He does not take to believing people very easily unlike Rama. If Rama listened to Lakshmana, and did not blindly follow the Golden Deer he could have easily avoided Sita’s abduction.
The most intriguing part of the story was when Sita sees Rama for the first time when he’s entering the palace, and falls in love with him. The way the author explains this romance is really cute. He says that Sita becomes restless and cannot bring herself to sleep, nothing interests her, and she wonders who the handsome young man is. Rama too goes through the same emotions, but does not exhibit them because it is unbecoming of a man to let such petty things bother him. To think of Gods falling in love, was kind of amusing to me. :)
Vali’s episode brought tears to my eyes because he praises Rama a lot before going out to fight with Sughreeva , and finally becomes a prey to Rama’s arrow itself. I really felt bad for Vali, but Rama finally explains to him why he did what he did and Vali bids good bye rather happily.
The introduction of Ravana is kind of funny. His cruelty is showcased in a rather amusing way, he’s shown to have Gods working for him and the thing that got me laughing was that even the moon was afraid to pass through the corridors of Ravana’s palace for fear of being captured by him. Ha ha that was really naïve.
The characters like Jatayu, Ahalya and Thataka add spice to the story. Being a ‘diehard’ hater of the Harry Potter series, I’d say that Ramayana makes for a better read, and it is a complete package with romance, action, morals and everything that you’d want in a story.

Wednesday 14 December 2011

Tribulations on a winter morning

This morning when the alarm went off, I woke up bleary-eyed, with a strong desire to bunk work, but as they say, “If wishes were horses, beggars could ride”, so I just pushed myself out of bed and got ready. The weather outside was making things worse for me; Bangalore’s winters can make you feel lazy, arousing all kinds of cravings in you. When I say ‘all’ it means ALL!!
It was so cold that I felt like skipping my bland 'low fat-low carb' breakfast for a day, and hopping into the nearby restaurant to feast on a plate of hot vada-sambar, but I didn’t have much time left to reach office, so just swallowed the dreary bit of breakfast and embarked on the long journey to office, and the drive to office was more saddening than I could imagine, here’s why….
First of all, the bone-chilling weather made it very difficult to drive fast ‘cos the wind was hitting me in the face and making my body shiver, I decided to drive slowly even if it meant that I would be late to office for the third consecutive day. I pass Mount Carmel College everyday on the way to work, and there were couples already sitting in the café opposite to the college at as early as 8.30 in the morning, enjoying their coffee and whispering sweet nothings to each other…..aww! that was a punch in the face for me. Anyways, I consoled myself saying they’ll also have to go to work some day and be in the same situation as I’m in now, and moved on.
Next, I hit M.G Road and saw a bunch of kids with their parents, just coming out of the Metro station all excited, presumably after their first ride on the train, another cause for envy! I just remembered my school and college days when we had to do nothing but sit in class, pretending to listen to the teacher and escape into our own dreamlands. I just wish I could turn back time! Really!
After battling a bit with the traffic near Trinity Circle and emerging triumphant, I finally reached office, and under the angry gaze of my manager, sat in my seat to begin the day’s work, and a new BATTLE just began!

Tuesday 6 December 2011

Merry Christmas!

Snow, carols, reindeers, bobtails, wreaths, bells, bows, and of course, our dear Santa….these are things that remind us that it’s Christmas time again. I don’t know why, but this time of the year almost always gets me into a nostalgic mood. I feel more cheerful around this time than in any other part of the year. It feels as though the whole world is in a festive mood, and it undoubtedly is.

I remember my school a lot, the Christmas plays that used to be staged every year, the ‘Secret Angel’ games that we used to play, and the restless wait to find out my Secret Angel and what she’d gift me….Oh! It used to be real fun. The best part of Christmas though, for me, is the carols; it excites me even now to listen to one of them, my favorite being ‘Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer’. I also miss the Christmas crib and the countdown to the Christmas holidays.

Well, life is very different now; we don't get long Christmas holidays anymore and the only places that I’ll find Christmas cribs are malls and restaurants, and each one I see puts a smile on my face anyway. Christmas is also the time for me to pig out.There are plum cakes, chocolates, cookies, truffles and every other thing that is a gourmet’s dream! (NOW you know why it’s my favorite part of the year, don’t you? ;) )

The festival brings a lot of cheer with it since it is also the time when one year is close to getting over and a new one is waiting to arrive. I love Christmas, I love the festivity and the liveliness it brings with it. I’m just hoping that this Christmas, Santa blesses me with the present that I have been praying for and makes it a memorable one! :)

(Uh…Santa, you know what I want this Christmas, don’t you??)

That I still believe in Santa is a different story altogether! :)

Friday 5 August 2011

Happy Friendship Day!

Today is a day dedicated to friendship, and I remember what great importance we attached to this day when in school. When we first started celebrating Friendship Day, we'd buy rolls of different colored thread, cut them into small lengths and braid those strands of thread together and make as many friendship bands as possible, to tie to our friends in school. Later, these bands got commercialised, and were available in shops, ready to use. Since this day comes around the same time as rakhi, the friendship bands are sold in the same shops that sell rakhis, and some people used to mistake rakhis for friendship bands, and tie them to friends.....ha...ha.....thankfully my school wasn't a co-ed, I wonder what turmoil the guys in those schools go through!

When I think of friendship, the first song that comes to mind is Mustafa Mustafa, I used to love the song like crazy, I liked it for a number of reasons, firstly for the hero, I had a HUGE crush on him (I still have his poster in my cupboard!), the song picturised friendship in the most endearing way, and its lyrics were beautiful!

Today, I was just thinking, what does friendship really mean? Is it just about hanging out with people you like and having a good time with them, or does it have a deeper bearing? For me, friendship is something that is much more deeper, it means being a parent, a sibling, a guardian, a guide and a buddy to anybody you consider to be a friend, while taking care not to break into their privacy. I could just give them my suggestions and opinions, but not try to change their own, and not want them to completely embrace my opinions, just because I feel I'm right. It means standing by them come what may! I don't know if this is an idealistic way of looking at things, but this is what really friendship means to me.
What's your idea of friendship, by the way? And is it really hard to find such friends these days?? I guess so....!

Missing Dad....

I was just reading a blog of a person who lost her dad at a young age just like me, and was wondering, has my life really changed since the time dad left?? I found myself answering, "TREMENDOUSLY!!"
Hmmm....looking back at the time gone by, I realised a lot has changed, both, inside of me, and in the world outside me. The few months or years immediately after his passing away were painted with gloom, mom and I just lead our lives blindly,taking one day at a time, not thinking about the future, rather, not wanting to, 'cos we were just so scared of everything! I rememeber her getting up at 4 in the morning and rushing for her morning walk, as if she had a very busy day ahead when all she had to do was come back and prepare brunch for the two of us,and that was the only meal we had in the whole day, on many days.Not that we were broke or something,but most of the days, we didn't feel like eating, we had to just force food down our throats.
Those were really dark days, we spent most of the time just remembering dad and missing all the things that we did together as a family. He was a busy man, and I never really got around to spending a lot of time with him( now in retrospect, I feel that if I knew I'd be spending such less time with him, I'd have been a little selfish and spent much more time with him, and did many things that other kids do with their dads!), he was gone just when I had begun to understand the 'serious'things in life (sounds cliche, does it??).From what I saw of him, he was a deep man, one of the few people who genuinely wished, uh....'wished' would be a lesser word, I guess, 'cos he actually DID things to make others around him happy.He tried his best to help anybody who came to ask a favour, he never gave 'No' for an answer, irrespective of who the person was.I have tried my best to incorporate some of his values in my life.

When dad passed away, there were a lot of peole who stood by us, our family was really supportive, they did their best to help mom and me cope with the shock, and eventually, we came out of it. Our family has always been there for us, whenever we have needed them, and I thank God for this blessing. I thank God for my uncle (dad's brother,my chikappa), without whom I'd have missed dad all the more, my aunt (chikamma for me), who was (and even now is) a huge support when dad was admitted to the hospital and I was kinda lost and my granny (whom I lovingly call Anju), who helped me study for my board exams, and helped me clear them in First Class.They have contributed greatly to my life. But somewhere along the road I have always missed having dad around me. Many times,like when I got my results,I have missed him congragulating me, he never showed any disappointment even when I did really badly in my school tests, he always attributed my poor maths skills to our genes! :) Whenever I was done with my exams and returned home, he'd say, in the most happiest of tones,"Ah! you're a free bird now", that was when my vacation would officcially begin, I'd rush home after exams just to hear him say this,it would give me some sort of a kick to hear it from him. When I see a small kid being carried by her dad, I always wonder if dad carried me like that when I was a kid, I wonder what he would have liked me to study if he were to be here now, I wonder if he'd have liked me to work or just finish graduation and then let me spend time at home( that's a secret dream I nurse,by the way, not going to work but just lazing around at home,and doing things I like!:p ) I have a lot of doubts in mind. Sometimes, when I do something nice that I feel good about, I almost instinctively tend to ask myself "would daddy appreciate me for this?"

I have faced many incidents that made me miss him,through all these times, I have just turned to God in different ways, I have prayed, I have read about Him, I have heard about Him and just tried to hold myself up in all these times, and I have realised that I have emerged stronger everytime. And for all this, I have only dad to thank because he has taught me so much even in his absence! Miss YOU Dad!!