For my Best Friend

Hi Suchi,

It’s not easy to see a friend get married and move away, knowing that soon her priorities will change and that there will be restrictions on the time of day you call her or that you won’t be able to meet her like you did when she was single. It is even harder when it is your BEST FRIEND. Nevertheless, I’m really happy for you. You’ve got a great person for a husband and as you might already know, you guys make a perfect couple. This post is just to tell you how much you mean to me.

Suchi, you’ve been there for me EVERY single time I needed someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, someone to share secrets with (yes, even the most embarrassing ones!) and someone to understand whatever I was feeling at a given time. There are very few people who have the sensitivity that you possess, and as for your wittiness, well what can I say!

We’ve known each other for 8 long years now and there was a time when we didn’t speak much to each other since we’d joined different colleges and were busy settling down in our respective colleges. However, we somehow knew that we had a close friend who cared for us and would be there when we needed them, at least I always knew.

It was in the 2nd year of Pre-Univ that we became close, I still miss the time we used to sit in the last bench and keep laughing for the silliest things. That was the only time I got punished the maximum in class. God! I remember me hogging the akki rottis, kesari baath and anything that aunty sent you for lunch. Oh and how can I forget the ‘boondi’!  he he :D and ‘Old MacDonald’ of course! We had so much fun discussing our crushes; you used to get really thrilled every time you spoke about ‘Rain God’! (Aww....I really miss those days!)  Our movie outings, bike rides and the famous ‘Kaliyon ka Chaman’ are also things that I will always remember.

The bond became stronger once we graduated and started working; we met up to discuss serious issues like work, colleagues, office politics, family, relationships and the like. I confided in you each time I faced a difficulty and emerged feeling lighter after every talk. You really are the true definition of a friend, Suchi.

Now, as you are stepping into a new phase of life, I just want to wish you the very best of luck, happiness and health. I pray that each and every wish of yours comes true and you have a great life ahead.

Love you lots Suchi! Remember that I’m only a phone call away, and will be there whenever you need me!

Love,

Shilpa.

'She' is your little angel

Paediatrics was my favorite subject in college and so was the department. We had one of the best teachers in the subject and it was a joy to watch her treat the kids. I used to love spending time with those differently abled kids and their parents, there were many things to learn from them.

Some of the kids had been coming for treatment for more than a year and everybody in the department knew them by name. I still remember some of them, how can I forget those cheerful faces so easily? Each day they would come with a big, bright smile on their face in spite of knowing that they would be subjected to a lot of pain during the exercise sessions. They wouldn’t bother. They would always come in smiling.

During our Paediatrics postings, we were required to go to the NICU and treat some of the newborns there, mostly for respiratory conditions. These babies would usually be preterm babies put on ventilator support till their tiny lungs were capable of functioning on their own. We’d have to give Chest Physiotherapy for these infants and it would be such a tough task ‘cos their chests would be so tiny and our hands would seem gargantuan before them. We’d have to treat them ever so carefully. I hated doing suctioning for them ‘cos I was really scared of causing even the slightest injury to their tender throats. Each baby was adorable. I used to love inserting my finger into their tiny palms which would instantly cause them to wrap their Lilliputian fingers around mine, showing just how vulnerable they are.

When I was posted there, there were twins born to an aged couple. The babies had developed complications during delivery and were admitted to the NICU. Their parents had been trying to conceive for 7 years since their marriage and had been blessed with the babies after a long wait. Both the babies were girls. They were in the ICU for almost a fortnight and the desperate father used to just stand outside the ICU all day long, waiting for some good news about his babies’ health every time a doctor walked out of the ICU. When he was let inside, he’d just stand by the cradle and look at them with admiration in his eyes and a smile on his face, afraid to touch them lest he cause them any kind of discomfort. I used to feel happy for those kiddos that they'd got such a loving father. They were eventually moved out of the ICU into the wards, where their mother had been waiting to take them into her arms, and the couple was exhilarated. That day they distributed sweets to the entire staff in the hospital. But their happiness didn’t last for long.

One of the babies developed a chest infection and was re-admitted to the NICU and later passed away after her little body failed to fight the infection. The other one too was too weak and quickly followed her sister. The mother was inconsolable. The father was shocked. He didn’t speak, but tears rolled down his eyes silently. He was too hurt that God had snatched away the tiny little angels that his wife and he had welcomed with so much of hope and love into the world. I don’t know how they are now.

I was reminded of them yesterday when I read of baby Afreen’s death. Why don’t people realize that there are many unfortunate homes that have not heard the cry or laughter of a baby? That there are many forlorn couples that are hoping against hope and praying desperately for God to show His grace on them and bless them with a bundle of joy? They don’t care for the gender, the color or the looks of the child. They just want a baby to call their own.

So, all you heartless parents of girl children, please know that your baby is gravely wanted elsewhere. She can be the hope for someone’s tomorrow, a smile on someone’s face and the answer to someone’s prayers. So, please think twice before you decide to dump, hurt or kill her. She has a right to live, please don’t deprive her of it.

If you feel she’s unworthy of being your child, then hand her over to a good adoption agency which will ensure that she is placed in the hands of parents who will give her the life that she deserves. This is the best way that you can get rid of her.

And one day, when she is grown up and knows the truth, she will thank you for letting her live and pray that you are safe and happy wherever you are. She might even come looking for you, just to check if you need her in your twilight years. Don’t feel guilty that day. Savor the moment and ask for her help if you please. She will go out of her way to make you happy and keep you comfortable. That’s a girl child for you, by the way, she loves you, no matter what!

The lone traveler

It was a dark night, I was travelling alone on a deserted road and I found you. You were alone too.

All my doubts and fears vanished the moment I saw you. I wonder if the same happened to you. Your manner seemed familiar; there was nothing new about you. It was as if I had found a long lost friend. We talked, we laughed, we cried and we shared secrets as we walked. Then the morning came and we faced two separate paths.

You took one path and I had to take the other to reach my destination. You said good bye sweetly and left.

I am still standing at the crossroads, not sure which path to take. I ask myself repeatedly if I’ll meet you again if I travel down the road you took but I’m not sure. So I just stand where I am and wait for another traveler to come by and help me finish my journey.

Soulmates

I’ve been a member of Goodreads for some time now and I enjoy reading the reviews of readers on various books. It’s interesting to see how a single book raises different reactions from different people. Some people just love the concept on which a book is based, while some find it difficult to accept the author’s ideas and beliefs. ‘The Bridge Across Forever’ and ‘Brida’ are two of my favorite books and both of them are roughly based on the same subject, that of ‘Soulmates’. I don’t know how many of you actually believe in this theory, but these books got me thinking about it.

I’ve had many friends tell me that they instantly recognized their partners the very first time they saw them, while others tell me that things don’t work that way. It’s just physical attraction when you like a person the first time you see them. In Paulo Coelho’s ‘Brida’ the writer emphasizes on the former concept, The Magus knows that Brida is his soulmate at the very moment he sees her, while in Richard Bach’s book, the author who’s himself the protagonist of the story, takes a very long time to realize that his lover is actually his soulmate. It takes a lot of fights and separations between them to make them understand what exists between them is true love. This was a more realistic approach to the concept of soulmates than Paulo’s in ‘Brida’, she is a witch anyway, and it requires a lot of imagination on our part to understand the ethereal kind of love portrayed in the book.

I have always wondered how two people with different mindsets, opinions and viewpoints begin to like each other and finally decide to live their lives together. The idea of an arranged marriage is all the more intriguing because the partners are placing the responsibility of choosing their soul mate in another person’s hands. In love marriage, at least the couples know the person they are going to marry. There is no warranty of either marriages working out however. Each has its own advantages and pitfalls, but I’m not going into that right now.

What does the concept of ‘soulmates’ exactly mean? Does it mean a perfect relationship between two individuals, with no disagreements and disputes whatsoever? Or does it mean an invisible cord binding two individuals together, never allowing them to get away from each other despite everything? If it represents the first kind of relationship, then life would be monotonous and boring and it would mean that at least 90% of us, married or in a relationship, haven’t found our soulmates. If it means the latter,then, I have another question. Why should one soulmate cause pain and sorrow to another? After all he/she is supposed to be sharing a part of your own soul, pain caused to you must affect them equally. Also, what about people who get into a relationship more than once??

Ah……I have many many questions whirring in my head! Would anybody care to explain??

Life comes full circle

It’s the exam season now, most kids in school must be slogging it out while others may have just begun their holidays. I saw a bunch of kids in an auto this morning, each with a book opened on their laps and busy trying to brush up their lessons in the last minute. I was instantly reminded of my school days and grandpa.

Exam time used to be a terrorizing time for me as I was never a kid who studied every day. I would try as much as possible to finish my homework in school so I would have enough time to play with Manju and Suvvi in the evenings. They were children of Eeranna, my dad’s man Friday, who stayed in the outhouse and were each a year younger and older than me respectively. Each day we’d have a lot of things to talk about, Suvvi was the cleverest amongst us and would have many interesting stuff to tell us. She’d learn new games in her school and come home and teach us. We’d do everything together, right from playing to studying and we’d even sleep in the same room, giggling and talking throughout the night. However, our happy routine would undergo a major change when exams came close.

My grandpa would arrive from Mysore a month before exams started and the ‘military rule’ would begin. He’d be very strict with my timings. I’d have to freshen up after coming back from school and instantly sit to study. TV and playtime would be completely banned for a month. There would be no contact of any kind with Suvvi and Manju, and the only things that would keep me company would be my text books. I used to hate exams for another reason, grandpa would never allow me to eat junk food at this time as he feared that I’d fall sick. He’d not allow me to go out with my parents as that just meant wasting time. Maybe all this rigidity and sternness came from his being a professor and college principal.

Grandpa came to stay with us after dad passed away, and his interest in my studies slowly began to reduce, as I took up Science and he was an English Professor, so there was hardly anything that he could help me with. However, he continued to have great interest in my marks. Once I finished my studies and began working, I don’t think there was any soul happier and prouder about me, than him. He became friendlier and less strict. I used to spend most of the evenings, sitting in his room and talking to him about the goings-on at work and complaining about my colleagues, he gave a patient hear to everything I had to share with him. We’d also sit for long hours discussing about books, current affairs, technology, anything and everything under the sun. There was not a single secret that I kept from him and there was never a topic that bored him.

Grandpa has had a stroke recently and has become unrecognizable. The illness has robbed him of all his charm and has made him very emotional and aggressive. He’s lost the ability to read and can’t comprehend anything that we speak. I am now helping him resume reading by writing short notes for him to read and understand. He reads clearly sometimes but gives up very easily when he can’t. He’s having problems with his mobility as well, but I’m sure he’ll be able to walk about very soon. The only thing that bothers me is if he can get back to being the cheerful and active person he always was.

He taught me how to read and write and to be happy come what may; now it’s payback time, but the problem is that I can’t be as good a teacher as he was to me!

Happy past, present and future "tense"

It’s the Christmas-New Year season and there was not much work to do in office so I was randomly browsing through people’s profiles on Facebook and stumbled upon Darius Sunawala’s profile. I just remembered how entertaining the radio shows used to be at that time. So, this blog is dedicated to Sunaina Lall and Darius who added fun to my mornings during school days.
I don’t really remember what this show used to be called, but I think it was called the ‘Breakfast Show’. Sunaina Lall used to host the show alone initially, and then Darius was brought on board. The duo used to play old English hits and new Bollywood numbers. They used to make it a point to play music that would complement the weather each day, this used to be amazing. The fights that they used to have on air used to be hilarious, with Darius losing the arguments always. We had a radio in the kitchen and would never miss turning it on at our breakfast time. I used to love it when it rained ‘cos I was sure they would play my favorite romantic numbers, and that would leave me in a dreamy mood for the rest of the day! :) (Ye! I know I’m hopelessly romantic!)
But this was during my PU days, once I started attending college, FM Radio underwent a huge change and Bangalore got a wider choice of radio channels to listen to. After that I was lost. I hardly got time to listen to radio.
The other things that I’m really missing from my school days are the videos of the song albums that used to come on TV. Lucky Ali’s ‘O Sanam’, Falguni Pathak’s ‘Yaad piya ki aane lagi’ and even Aslam and Shibani’s ‘Ho gayi hai mohabbat’. I was really crazy about those songs.
I miss the innocence of those years and the ability I had to dream about things so easily. It was an uncomplicated world, consisting only of school, books, friends and parents. Now, it’s so different, there’s work, competition,gossip, muddled up feelings, doubt, fear………….the works!! All driving us MAD!
Many people tell me that I live in the past, and should try to come out of it. But if the past brought more happiness to me than the present, why not live in the past??

My thoughts on Ramayana

I did my schooling in a traditional Christian school in Bangalore, so I did not know as much of Ramayana and Mahabharatha as I knew of the Bible. I was not lucky enough to hear these stories from my grandparents either, because they did not live with me. The other day when I found the book ‘Indian Epics Retold’ by R.K Narayan in the library, I picked it up instantly and brought it home, fully excited.
I just finished reading Ramayana from this book, and was fascinated by the story no doubt, but there were a lot of things that got me bemused. R.K.N has based his writing on Kamban’s Ramayana, and I really don’t know how authentic his version of Ramayana was nor did I bother to find out. I just treated myself to the brilliant narration of R.K.N and wanted to share some of my thoughts in this post.

After reading the first few chapters I found myself wondering why so much importance was being given to Rama alone. After all, Dasharatha had three more sons, and it was only natural that he should love Bharatha, the son of his favorite wife, Kaikeyi more than the other sons. Rama was the incarnation of Lord Vishnu,but the people in Ayodhya didn’t know about it, did they?
I really felt pity for Lakshmana throughout the story because he is almost always ignored. When Rama is going to exile, he readily follows Rama, and we see that Sumitra cries because Rama is leaving, but does not show any sign of grief for the departure of her own son. Lakshmana shows his intelligence in many situations, I’d say he was more brilliant than Rama, because he warns Rama before he kills Vali, and even when Sita tells him to go and rescue Rama during the Mareecha incident, he tells her not to jump to conclusions and stays by her side to guard her, but finally relents when she starts doubting his intentions. He does not take to believing people very easily unlike Rama. If Rama listened to Lakshmana, and did not blindly follow the Golden Deer he could have easily avoided Sita’s abduction.
The most intriguing part of the story was when Sita sees Rama for the first time when he’s entering the palace, and falls in love with him. The way the author explains this romance is really cute. He says that Sita becomes restless and cannot bring herself to sleep, nothing interests her, and she wonders who the handsome young man is. Rama too goes through the same emotions, but does not exhibit them because it is unbecoming of a man to let such petty things bother him. To think of Gods falling in love, was kind of amusing to me. :)
Vali’s episode brought tears to my eyes because he praises Rama a lot before going out to fight with Sughreeva , and finally becomes a prey to Rama’s arrow itself. I really felt bad for Vali, but Rama finally explains to him why he did what he did and Vali bids good bye rather happily.
The introduction of Ravana is kind of funny. His cruelty is showcased in a rather amusing way, he’s shown to have Gods working for him and the thing that got me laughing was that even the moon was afraid to pass through the corridors of Ravana’s palace for fear of being captured by him. Ha ha that was really naïve.
The characters like Jatayu, Ahalya and Thataka add spice to the story. Being a ‘diehard’ hater of the Harry Potter series, I’d say that Ramayana makes for a better read, and it is a complete package with romance, action, morals and everything that you’d want in a story.